Delaware County District Library

The gran tour, travels with my elders, Ben Aitken

eng

no index present

non fiction

The gran tour

Ben Aitken

travels with my elders

"When Ben Aitken learnt that his gran had enjoyed a four-night holiday including four three-course dinners, four cooked breakfasts, four games of bingo, a pair of excursions, sixteen pints of lager and luxury return coach travel, all for a hundred pounds, he thought, that's the life, and signed himself up. Six times over. Good value aside, what Ben was really after was the company of his elders - those with more chapters under their belt, with the wisdom granted by experience, the candour gifted by time, and the hard-earned ability to live each day like it's nearly their last. A series of coach holidays ensued - from Scarborough to St Ives, Killarney to Lake Como - during which Ben attempts to shake off his thirty-something blues by getting old as soon as possible."--Page 4 of cover

Part 1: Scarborough, Yorkshire, England. We're hard to spot, aren't we? -- There's an art to eating happily alone -- Why aren't you in bed? -- I'm the right side of 80, she says -- 81 -- Part 2: St. Ives, Cornwall, England. Any student discount? -- Well, pardon me, Mrs. Robinson -- Older people should be exploited -- Although owls appear zen and wise, they're actually thick as sh*t -- Part 3: Llandudno, Wales. Just eat your bread roll and don't touch me -- Ask your mother while you can -- Alexa, find Facebook, says Nan -- It sounds to me like you could do with some grief -- Part 4: Killarney, Ireland. I'm not used to the likes of you. On ye get -- It's Judy bloody Garland -- You can't take a picture of them. They're not us -- These days, even babies don't know they're born -- Part 5: Lake Como, Italy. Life's not about living to 96. It's about living to 84 -- They're talking of switching rooms because their neighbours were at it half the night -- Now there's no whistling because he never comes home -- They took him to hospital in a gondola -- If you want to know the secret to a long happy marriage, it's 1) stay alive and 2) have separate bedtimes -- And then some paramedics arrive -- Part 6: Pitlochry, Scotland. She says that thanking God gets easier and harder every day -- She grew beetroot and potatoes all day and in return she wasn't shot -- I can't just sit here and wait for the rain to stop -- There was that lark in the end

adult